TTFN

I'm going to close this ol' blog down for a bit.

A hiatus if you will.

I simply don't have time to blog right now.

Even if I did, it would only be to say how enamored I am with our big ol' chunky boy.

There's no DIY-ing going on. Very few recipes are going down at casa de Dranrab. At the end of each day, I'm ready to just lay in bed and watch t.v. and relax with our kid asleep in the room next to me.

But. But! I will come back with a fresh new little blog. I've got ideas my friends! So if we're friends on F.B. you'll know my new blog name and can follow it then. If we're not friends on Facebook, maybe we should be?

So Ta Ta for now dear readers. Thanks for looking at my stories! Until we meet again.

Levi's Birth Story (part II)

I have always thought that once you are in extraordinary pain, you can't feel even more pain. I dunno, it's something I've just assumed. Like if you've been shot, a paper cut isn't going to be too huge of a deal. I guess if you're stabbed and then shot, you'll definitely recognize the bullet though...Enter forceps. I can't type words to describe the terrible-ness. I have learned that when a nurse or doctor says "You're going to feel A LOT of pressure," to run as far as my legs can carry me.

The doctor came in with his wheely-cart of scary doctor instruments and said "Baby's heart rate is dropping. You need to push harder." I pushed and pushed, but after almost two and a half hours, I was toast. I was so tired I said that if I pushed again, I would pass out, to which everyone called my bluff. Damn those machines that can read information like that! Ugh. Baby was most definitely stuck. His shoulders weren't coming through so the doctor said he would have to use the forceps to get baby out. The first part of the forceps was tolerable, the second part was not. I don't know what the second part even was, just know that this is when I started screaming. Dave was white in the face & said he needed a breather. He asked a nurse to take over and looked at me completely serious and said "Nicky, you need to do this now." I couldn't register the alarm on his face or in his voice because I was in another place of get-these-metal-things-the-f-out-of-me! Dave said that a sweet little nurse (who we later learned, just returned from maternity leave herself) took his place at holding my right leg back to help me push. He also said that I threw her across the room while squirming and begging everyone to stop and leave me alone and not to touch me. No one listened.

Then our baby was out.

Dave didn't get to cut the cord and our baby wasn't put up onto my chest. No crying. Nurses scooped up our baby and rushed him over to a table and started poking at him and pushing things down his throat to clear his airway. I was talking to Dave because we were both kind of stunned and wondering if everything was okay when I looked over to my right and saw that our little baby had wiggled around and was trying to find where my voice was coming from. It was the first time I saw him and he looked so good! He looked pissed off, but great! I told Dave to go on and take some pictures, but he just kind of fumbled around and said he didn't want to get in the nurses way. One of the nurses took the camera from him and took this photo.

Dave rushed out of the room with the camera to show our family that we were alright and our baby was here! Levi was born at 6:39 pm weighing 10 pounds 4 ounces.

The doctor mentioned something about calling general anesthesia for repairs. Uh oh. Once the Stadol was flowing - I didn't care what the doctor was 'repairing'. Oh I have third degree tears? No big deal dude. Everything was completely calm after that. Lights were dimmed, Donna told me how proud she was. She could count the people that have done natural birth on one hand and I got to join them. The nurse on the next shift, Christine, was just as amazing (minus the whole uterus punching to stop bleeding. Seriously, wtf?).

Levi Ray is such a sweet boy. He's strong and loud and stares straight into my eyes.

 

We've made a family.

The king of blowing bubbles

How do we know Levi is awake in the morning? By the bubble blowing-fest going on in his crib. Dude loves to talk by blowing bubbles. Oh, he's got a mouth full of peas? It's okay - he wants you to know that he can still blow bubbles with a mouth full of peas. And squash. And carrots. And green beans too.

I know most people hate Mondays, but yesterday was probably the best regular average Monday I've ever had. Nothing spectacular happened per se. We just came home from work, played, had dinner ready (corned beef & cabbage) and felt that we were doing things right. I say 'we' a lot. Like "We had our first tooth pop through on Sunday!" Which 'we' most certainly did not have happen together. Or "We took a good two hour nap today," which most definitely involved both Little Chunky and I. Or "We had a big boy poop today!" Which may or may not have happened to both of us...just kidding. I am a lady and I don't do icky things like that. Or fart.

Ramblings about a thing called love

So I get to thinking about love sometimes.

What would have happened if Dave was really in love with someone else when we re-met (we liked each other in high school)? What if I was really in love with someone else when we re-met? Would we drop the other person and gravitate towards each other because we're so cute together? Probably not. I think about it & then I get all weird feeling. Like things could have so easily taken other paths - but the one that we're on together is just the right one.

Did I get mad yesterday because I couldn't hang up a picture & call Dave to blame him? Bet your booty I did. Did I apologize & say I need to learn how to hang things into plaster without crumbling our fair walls? I did that too.

In books I read about unrequited love all too often. It's such a tragic condition, is it not? I feel like I share a bond with those characters, not because I've felt unrequited love - but because I imagine about how it feels and how terrible and heartbreaking it would be. That's a weird thing to think about in ones spare time huh?

Levi's Birth Story (part I of II)

If you want the short story without all of the fun, here you go:

October 11, 2012
6:00am - Arrived at hospital
7:30am - fluids hooked up
8:15am - Doctor broke water
4:19pm - 10cm dilated and began to push
6:39pm - Levi arrived! We are a family of three + one hound dog

Are you in it for the long haul? Ready for the real thing? Here goes nothing!

The day before I was induced, I stopped by Schnuck's to pick up some doughnuts for the nurses. I read in a few places that it is courteous to get treats for your nurses, especially if you're trying for a natural birth. Looking back, I didn't buy nearly enough pastries for these ladies.

October 10, 2012. Day before baby

When we arrived at 6:00am I was told to put on the shabby chic hospital gown. I donned the gown, laid down in bed and was asked a bunch of questions about my medical history. The nurse hooked me up to all the required monitoring and said I was having regular but still pretty spaced out contractions at 8 minutes apart. At 7:00am the nurses switched shifts and I was introduced to Donna. Donna was going to be the woman helping to deliver our baby. She found out that we were trying for an all natural birth and said that I could do it! She asked us which classes we attended, to which we replied "....um none," and then we both got looks of "ooohhh ok, this will be fun [insert eye roll]!" I quickly chimed in and told her that I read TONS of books on natural labor (and gave the Cliff notes to Dave. He did read one article of a book about a lady who birthed an 11lb baby and had fourth degree tears. What a great starting point, huh?), watched some really great documentaries, and come on! We're women! This is what our bodies were made for and I just know I can do this. I got this ish in the bag. She said she delivered her two children naturally and she also coached her own daughter through natural childbirth, and had faith that I could do it. Good omen, right?

At 7:30am the pitocin was flowing. At 8:15 my doctor came in wearing dress slacks and a button up shirt and said he was ready to break my water and that things would progress pretty quickly from here. I said "Bring on the pain! I'm ready to feel something already!" Self, why must you be so extreme? The doctor sat on the edge of the bed, while I was laying there with my legs shaking. I was so scared it would hurt, but it didn't at all. I felt a POP! and waited for water to gush. ....nothing happened for a minute or two, then BAM my doctors pants were soaked. I was sort of bummed when they told me once my water was broke, I wouldn't be able to get up and walk around. Fast forward 4 hours and I know that there is no way I would have wanted to walk once we were getting down to business anyway.

After the doctor left, we had a steady stream of family coming in to visit. Contractions started to get stronger and I closed my eyes and breathed deeply to get through it. Once that technique wasn't helping any longer , I had to change things up to get through each wave of pain. I would concentrate and close my eyes and let out long "ohhhhh ohhhhh ohhhhhhh's" until each wave passed. I got a text from my friend, Frazier at 12:53 pm simply asking "Baby?" with a just as simplistic reply stating "Pain".

The monitors around my bed let everyone in the room know when a contraction was beginning, spiking and then retracting. Dave liked to watch and see how it correlated with my oh oh oh's stating "that was a good one!" He's so cute. It became difficult when someone would announce "Oh here one comes!" I had to ask everyone to hush up at this point. I knew when I felt pain, and didn't want someone announcing when I would soon be hurting.

Things continued to progress and our nurse suggested that our visitors leave the room so I could concentrate better. This was also when she recommended me to begin breathing faster through each contraction (like blowing out birthday candles over and over, she said). Our nurse suggested me turning on my side so the baby could have the best air flow. I sat like that for one minute and flipped to my back as quick as I could. That ish hurt.

At 4:19 I was 10 cm dilated and began to push. Dave held my right leg back and Donna held my left. This was the most exhausting exercise I've ever done. Between contractions, which were about every minute or two, I would fall asleep until I was awakened by yet another round of pressure. I begged the nurses for food. I begged Dave for food. I was so tired and starving. Dave was by the book and refused to grab me the granola bars I packed away in my bag just for this sort of occasion. The nurse let me have a teensy pack of graham crackers. Those were gone in 2 seconds.

During a contraction I was told to breathe in, hold that breath and push with everything I had, then breathe out. I was supposed to do this three times all during the same contraction. By that third push I was mush. It was always such a pansy push. This is about the time I started growling and moaning loudly while pushing. The nurse said that when I made that noise, I wasn't pushing as hard. Ugh.  I tried to stop, but it just felt like a noise had to be made.

I was able to push him down and Dave said he could see the top of his head. He had hair! Yay for hair! We wondered if he would be a bald baby...but he was not! The nurse asked if I wanted to a mirror to see what was happening. I thought I would most certainly love to see all of the progress, but I didn't even want to catch a glimpse in any of the shiny, metal instruments that were littered around my bed. No thank you.

When the doctor came in and was pushing his cart full of doctor things, I knew it was time to get down to business. I think I was still smiling at this point. I was excited because I thought that if this was the worst pain, I could totally do this. Easily. Dave, let's have a million babies, wink wink! Haha not so fast.

Just Finished

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed.

Wow! What a tale Stayed has to tell. This book was such a great read. It tells about Strayed's hiking experience on the P.C.T. She was not a seasoned hiker, backpacker, or outdoors-woman - just a regular 26 year old trying to sort her life out.

After her mother died from cancer and she went through a divorce, Strayed decides to hike the PCT. She does it successfully and in boots which are a size too small.

One of my favorite parts is when she encounters the first of many animals on the trail. She sees a moose charging at her and screams "MOOSE!" and runs away. Strayed only carried a whistle on her through this entire trip as her defense against wildlife, bad guys, and Big Foot.

Reading this was like being on the trail alongside of her. I've only ever been on a 3 day & night hike. I remember when the serious hiker I went with said I would expound less energy if I watched my foot steps. Instead of climbing on top of large rocks that are right in the trail, to side step them to use less energy. At the time I thought what a bunch of hullabaloo. The weight of those freaking packs are ridiculous! I remember thinking, I'll bring one beer with me to drink when I get to the top of Bell Mountain. I was asked by that same experienced hiker "Why do you think so many hikers bring pot? Beer is too heavy." I don't think I'd be able to do this hike by myself though. Strayed says she simply thought "I'm not scared," and it made her not scared.

Amazing! I ended the book and wanted to hike so badly. Strayed leaves you feeling like you, too can walk the 2,640 miles without years of experience. Maybe also that we can overcome what we are going through even if we don't have all of the proper experience or know-how.

In the Closet

There are some things that I hold onto which I just need to let go of.

For example:

 

It's so bad that it's good. The tan bandana portion of the shirt is sheer. So if you are going to a hoe-down and are need of a blouse - I got ya covered.

I went through my closet with the rule of If I haven't worn it in a year - I don't need it and wow! It was refreshing. That skirt that didn't even fit when I was pregnant but would be nice to wear to an interview - donate! Those jeans that don't flatter my ass - donate!

I took the more fashionable items to Platos Closet and made $15! Two shirts still had tags on them. No more impulse purchases. I get overwhelmed when I have too many choices (which is why I still don't have a rug in the living room! Overstock.com has SO MANY RUGS!). It's easier for me to put together a cute outfit when I have pieces I really like as opposed to 89 shirts and 76 jackets.

Just Finished

Variant by Robison Wells

Interesting book about robots. The second book, Feedback, help to really pull things together to understand the situation better. However, after finishing both books I'm still a little confused.

The main character, Benson, arrives at this beautiful school and learns that there are no teachers or adults and that there is no way to leave the school except by being sent to detention. The school is run by the students, which have segregated themselves into gangs. Benson doesn't feel like he fits in with any of the gangs because none of the gangs really want to escape the school. Detention isn't like regular school detention. Here, detention equals begin stuffed into this metal box and then no one ever sees the student again. Benson isn't down with that.

One of the students, Becky, reveals to Benson a pipe at the schools foundation which shows the school has been around since the 1800's. Here's where I get confused. If the school is that old, how did they have the type of technology that it takes to run this school. There's an A.I. factor that comes in that just doesn't add up. If there weren't computers, how did the school function?

Not too bad. Maybe 2.5 stars out of 5.

Mom Butt

So I went to my closet this past weekend to look for a cute outfit to wear to a Superbowl party and noticed something in my denim department. I only have flare-style jeans. No slim legs, no skinny jeans. Only Woody the Cowboy (from Toy Story) jeans that flare at my calves.

Lame, huh? Apparently flare jeans are out and skinnies are in. I told Dave that I must get some skinny jeans up in my life.

Side story: Dave is the least fashionable person I know. He still wears shirts and shoes from highschool. The man is 27 years old.

Anyway, Dave replied "You know, I have noticed tons of people wearing skinny jeans. Like even in the mountains, people are wearing skinny jeans." (X Games are on so that is why he knows about mountain apparel.)

I went to Kohl's to find a pair of jeans. It wasn't pretty. Besides the junior department, women's skinny jeans were tough to find. None looked quite long enough. Did you know there is a difference between skinny jeans and slim leg? I didn't. The look for the perfect skinny jeans continues.

As Levi Keller's Mom...

Being Levi Keller's mom I know that he is afraid of car washes. His little bottom lip pushes out and he lets out a cry letting me know he is scared.

Wahh! I have to smile sometimes when he cries, because it still so precious

Being Levi's mom I know he likes to growl like his brother bear, Grendel taught him how to.

Being Levi's mom I know he rolled over (back to belly) for the first time this week.

My son sun

Being Levi's mom I know he is a restless sleeper. Our nighttime routine just isn't cutting it. Eating a teaspoon of baby cereal before bed time didn't really help too much either. When we start to see the sun rising in the morning, it's almost a relief knowing we got through one more night.